Say what you want to say, or just smile and nod?

Every once in a while, we baby boomers,  slip up when we’re speaking.Well, at least I do! Sometimes we say the most ridiculous things at the most inappropriate times. I did that in a meeting at work the other day.  I innocently shared conversation with the group while we were waiting for technical details about the meeting to be put into place.  I shared my thoughts because, to me, it was a silly harmless story;  a time filler.  But, I immediately knew it was not a good time for it based on few sets of eye rolls I saw on the faces of colleagues.  I was unnerved about their eye rolls for, maybe, two days.  Not shaken, not consumed, just a tad unnerved.  It felt a little upsetting to me that I put myself in a position to be judged in what I perceived as a negative way.

As I pondered this thing that was bugging me, I realized that I do worry about what others think of me at times like that, because I just don’t want to be known as “that person” who says the most ridiculous or unrelated things in meetings!  Many people might debate my perception, and respond, “Big deal,”  “That’s on them,” or “What other’s think doesn’t matter.”  I’m on board with those ideas, but, there are times when I believe it’s important to be noticed on the positive side of the opinions of others.  My place of employment is one of them.   My little five sentence story was really nothing in the big picture;  I’m certain that it was mindless enough that it isn’t being  held against me.

Chances are pretty good that as of this writing, the majority of the crowd has forgotten about my little nonsense story.  Some probably forgot about it several minutes into the meeting.   My words were not offensive; they were not about anyone else, and the topic wasn’t anything that could hurt anyone or anything.  It was just an inappropriate time to talk about this silliness that blurted out of my mouth.  I guess I felt comfortable enough to “blurt” in that group.

In the days since that blurting event occurred, I decided that the world has real problems, and me saying a harmless, silly thing at an inappropriate time isn’t one of them.  I reminded myself that everything on my mind might not be of interest to those around me – something I really have always known.  But, given that this blurting event occurred, evidently,  I have to remind myself to respect that others might not want to hear from me.

This many years on the other side of 50, hovering 60, might be a good time to give myself a break and not worry about what others think. Maybe I shall say whatever I want to say, and not worry about it. Then again, maybe I should just do a bit more smiling and nodding.  And as for the eye rollers – I hope, for their sake, that they can work on adjusting their thoughts too!