Humanness in the Face of Hurricane Harvey

August 17, 2017–September 2, 2017

by Suzie Peterson 

It was hot, humid, with pretty blue skies that Friday morning when I was visiting my family in Katy, Texas. Predictions for later that day, Hurricane Harvey’s Category 4 winds and rain were aligned to slam the Texas coastline, for days.

Whipping winds and relentless, slanted rain pummeled. The cul-de-sac filled with water, surrounding roads impassable. Water climbed the driveway. Drainage from the house gutters and downspouts resembled mini rivers.           

A tornado alert blasted simultaneously on our cell phones. Contained panic overtook me; we should be running, hiding, taking cover. The family remained calm. Within an hour, another alert, and another. By the third alert, we were scrambling!

One tornado alert on a cell phone can stir chatter for a day. Thirty relentless tornado alerts on three cells phones in one home, in forty-eight hours, during a hurricane, can make you feel like you’re under a constant air raid attack. Two days of non-stop blaring alerts took me to an unnerving psychological state. Impending doom. Petrified. Vulnerable. Danger. Helpless. Uncertainty. Overwhelmed. Prayers. Survival?  

My son’s neighbor, meteorologist Chad, had a man cave full of computer programs to track severe weather. He created a community text thread during Hurricane Harvey. After each National Weather System Wireless Emergency Alert, sleep deprived Chad followed-up on our group text with the tornado’s location, projected path, timing, and an action statement. Chad’s statements were comforting. Details I needed. “Stay alert, but this tornado is headed to the west side of town.” Each message eventually followed with, “All clear!” He responded to five of the thirty tornado alerts, “Take cover now!” We scrambled to the big closet. There were pillows and blankets for the kids and a kitchen chair for me. I had no idea how long we’d be stuck. We’d no sooner begin breathing after the “All clear,” when another alert would blast. Constant, forty-eight hours. Chad’s texts became my source of hope. I hadn’t met him, but adored him so.  

For two nights I slept with my shoes on, holding my phone, ready. I slept on a futon mattress on the living room floor, with my six-year-old granddaughter. “Are we going to die?” A game of pretend camping, giggling, and playing with flashlights under the covers eased her fear.

My two-year-old grandson was not easy to resettle at 3 AM.  He had been whisked out of his crib, and taken downstairs to the safety closet. Chad’s “All clear” message became the toddler’s opportunity to run free with his bag of Cheetos. His tiny hands were now orange and sticky. Giggling, running, jumping on his big sister and me. Her limited tolerance, “Don’t hurt my Grammy and me!” His mom and dad were at their sleep-deprived wits-end with his three AM shenanigans. They scooped him up, and headed upstairs. I heard mumbling and joking, “The next warning that comes through, he gets to stay in his crib!” Comic relief.

The sun came out. Tornado alerts ceased. Drained, our nerves now trained to be on edge. We were fragile. It would take time to come down from this historic catastrophe.

Bush Intercontinental Airport and roads leading to it remained closed. My flight home was delayed four days, but my Grammy-heart was full. I had opportunity to spend more time with my grandchildren while my son and daughter-in-law volunteered to help less fortunate; so many lost their belongings, homes, lives.   

The airport was just waking up, Saturday, 6:30 AM. The young gentleman two seats away asked, “How did it affect you?” Reality startled me. Every person in this enormous airport had been affected. There was more than my fear, and thirty tornado alerts. I explained that the tornado warnings messed with my head, my son’s home was not damaged, but others nearby lost everything. Thankful, blessed, I was among the lucky ones getting to leave. “You?”  

We had Harvey in common, his story different. This thirty something stranger poured out his heart; I listened, I understood. I was the first he spoke to, aside from fellow rescuers. He volunteered five days as an American Red Cross diver. He showed me his credentials to dive more than one hundred twenty feet, proving what he’d been through was real. The deeper you go, the shorter the time spent. Flooded Houston dives were eight to ten feet, more time under. His hand-drawn map showed water current directions of the floods. He had been on a dive near my son’s home. He looked exhausted, his tears heart-wrenching. My eyes swelled of sadness and tears with him. 

For five days he swam with rodents, snakes, in mud, slime, raw sewage, unable to see beyond his hand. He swam into flooded homes, located medications, had to tell people their pets he searched for died, and he and his rescue team located deceased bodies. At the end of his days, he was so full of filth that he showered several times. First with all his scuba gear on, then without.  

His day job, VP at a major North American bank. He shared a picture of himself in a company advertisement. He was trying to reconnect, escape horror. He, too, was fragile from stress of disaster. Concerned, I asked if he was going home to someone. His girlfriend would be there, but might not understand like someone who had lived through the storm and devastation. He stood and tried to walk off his overwhelming emotions.

“Boarding United Flight 1666 from Houston to Newark will now begin for on-time departure.”

A year later, still a bond. I wish we had shared names. At home in New York, when news of devastation is reported on television, I get tears and goose bumps, still. I look in a different direction, lower the volume, change the channel. More than just a storm happened. It happened to hundreds of thousands, with an equal number of perspectives, majority of stories worse than mine. My thirty tornado alerts weren’t that bad, after all.    

Copyright @ 2017 Suzann Peterson. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this text or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address the publisher. All rights reserved.

A Heavy Bag to Carry

(Flash fiction)

by Suzie Peterson

She sent me a text. “On the way home from our honeymoon. Let’s get together soon.”  She didn’t miss a beat, as if nothing had happened. A lot had happened. But, that’s been the cycle.

Why has she been so angry? I was never enough. Her hate deep. For years she has publicly berated and humiliated me, hurtful insinuations on social media, and even kept my name off the newspaper announcement.

I reached out, again. I found her name on a wedding registry and sent the most expensive gift, with love and congratulations. We met several times for lunch. A glimmer of hope. Six weeks before her wedding, when we met at the diner, my heart sank, again. “Nothing’s going to change, the wedding programs have been printed,” her parting words.

Dinner plans made. Looking forward. She cancelled. “Not going through with the plans; you’ll disappoint me!” was her text. I was disappointed, again. The story ends the same, every time. She builds me up to knock me down.

She seems to want to make a connection, but then pulls away fast, without missing a beat. She manipulates the situation and places herself in the role of disappointed victim. She works hard at making sure she has followers. Somehow she is able to always make me look like a horrible dad, in her eyes.  

No invitation arrived. I sent them chocolates, a bottle of champagne and “Mr. and Mrs.” champagne glasses the week before their wedding. On her wedding day I sobbed at home, grieving the loss of what should have been. Still not understanding her level of anger and hatred.  

All of the other people she decided to call mom, dad, sister, brother, and who she has designated as her “parents-in-heart,” or her “rock to lean on,” have been safe places for labels of the family she had desperately wanted.  A need to replace me in honor of her mom.   

Her mom and I had been going through a bump. Her mom had complained about me to her, our friends, and family. She even had an affair. I didn’t know what to do. I was happy being married. This was just a marriage speed bump, I thought. We’d figure out the new jobs we needed, and our finances. But, her mom wasn’t sure. I didn’t know whether we were working out our problems or separating. Fate decided. Her mom died that night that she and I were hit head-on by that drunk driver. I lost the chance to right our marriage.

Nearly a nervous breakdown. I did my best for our daughter, and myself. I spoke kindly about her mom. My daughter and I had a hard time. Counseling. Buying things. Vacations. Even after her mom died, it seemed to be them vs. me. Her mom had modeled how to be disappointed and complain about me. I didn’t have a chance. Berating me had been one of their strong connections. Now a strong lasting connection.

“The wrong parent died!” she yelled.

For nearly twenty-five years, she has kept that connection alive. She hasn’t moved beyond her mom’s ‘unhappy wife’ perception. She treats me the way she remembers her mom treating me.

There is only so much disrespect, berating and verbal abuse a dad should be expected to take, from an adult daughter. I took the tough love route. Stop the manipulations, lies, stories and drama, and make better decisions about money and relationships.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but the only thing my tough love did was give her more fuel to keep her loyalty to her mom alive, stronger than ever. She pushed me further away. To give me respect would be going against her loyalty to her mom’s perspective.    

Leaving me out of her wedding was the most heart-wrenching thing she could have done. Lost chances, lost hope, shattered heart.

I finally understand. Had she invited me to the wedding, then her life of high drama, manipulations, and made-up stories about me would have fallen apart, both in public and in her heart.

The unveiling, in front of her world, would have meant that many years of placing herself in the role of victim, and all of her imagined and self-created disappointments, were for naught.

By not having me attend the wedding, her lies and stories were able to continue; she comfortably remained the victim. Her mom and their strong connection were with her at the wedding.

I’ll probably never have my daughter back. I now understand that by me taking these hits from her, she got to keep her mom alive in her heart – in the only way she knows how.

Copyright © 2018 Suzann Peterson. All rights reserved.

Ball Lightning

An Unexpected Science Lesson at Grandma and Grandpa’s

by Suzie Peterson

When we were young, my siblings and I had many sleepovers at our grandparent’s homes. One of our sets of grandparents lived in a big, old, stone house, with lots of windows. It was situated at the foot of a big mountain. Although I adored time with my grandparents, odd things that made me feel uncomfortable often happened at that house. 

The house was surrounded by a small yard that seamlessly blended into the deep woods. There was a path that traveled through the woods and up the mountain. We’d only hike and explore so far that path before we’d get nervous and run back to the house. 

Behind the house was a small foot bridge that crossed over a stream. On the other side of the stream was a tree swing. We loved to pump that swing as high and as fast as we could, ponytails whipping in the wind. For a second or two we got to hang over the water. 

About thirty feet from the swing, the stream was fed by water that trickled over a little dam at the edge of a pond. We had lots of fun in Grandpa’s rowboat on that pond. His dog even loved to hop in and float with us. We didn’t swim much in the pond because there were too many snakes in the area. We had to take turns riding in the rowboat. We didn’t want to take a chance of overloading it and tipping over, for fear of having to swim with the reptiles to get back to shore! 

On one particular overnight visit, my sister and I slept upstairs in aunt Sandy’s old bedroom. Her room had a pretty, mirrored vanity. Next to the vanity were flowy curtains which framed the French doors that led to a small, wrought-iron balcony. It overlooked the woods and the road, two stories below. 

A powerful thunderstorm slammed through the area that night. During the storm, a glowing ball of orange lightning, the size of a basketball, traveled in through the double dining room windows. It zipped past grandma, who was sitting at the dining room table, missing her head by a literal hair. It traveled up the switchback staircase, and turned one final corner into the bedroom where we were sleeping. We startled awake. The hair on the back of my neck and arms stood straight up. The ball exploded over our heads.The light was blinding.The crack was deafening. Then it disappeared! Just like that! Gone!

We were petrified. Our bodies shook from our head to our toes, and we screamed bloody murder. Our aunts and grandma ran up to check that we were okay. We were fine. No damage, no fire, no extra heat, none of the things that one might imagine. 

Was it a nightmare, or did this thing we’d never heard of really happen? It did happen. Everyone in the family talked about it for days, especially grandma and our aunts who had seen it. It was so bizarre that even though it did happen, I still wondered whether we were crazy? 

Years later, when I researched ball lightning, I was comforted to find similar stories and information that supported what we had experienced. We weren’t crazy after all!

 As of this writing, scientists continue to have a variety of speculations on the physics of ball lightning which has been considered a mysterious phenomenon for hundreds of years. Over the past several decades, as technology has improved and more people, including scientists, have been able to record ball lightning, it is becoming less of a mystery. Scientists are putting more effort into all the questions that surround it – where, when, why, and how does it occur?

There are a few general observations that scientists agree on, so far. Ball lightning usually moves parallel to the earth, and sometimes takes vertical jumps. The one we experienced did both. It traveled parallel to the earth until it reached the stairs, and then vertically floated and bobbed up the stairwell and around the corner. 

Ball lightning sometimes comes down from the clouds, and other times for reasons unknown,  it can suddenly materialize either indoors or outdoors. It can enter a room through a closed or open window, through nonmetallic thin walls, or even through a chimney. The one we experienced entered the house through the windows. I don’t remember whether the windows were closed, or whether the ball caused a burn mark as it entered. 

Scientists have determined that ball lightning is harmless when it is inside structures that have conducting frames, such as houses, submarines and airplanes. We were startled and scared, but we weren’t hurt inside the big old stone house that had lightning rods. 

Regardless of whether ball lightning is harmless or not, I don’t want to experience being near it again.That night left the strongest impression I have from my visits to that grandma and grandpa’s home. It sure was one heck of a science lesson!

Copyright©2019Suzann Peterson.All Rights Reserved

GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!: A 1901 engraving depicting ball lightning

Photo source: National Geographic