“Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance.” – Robert Quillen, journalist
by: Suzie Peterson
May 10, 2025
In any political conversation, especially between people with opposing viewpoints, there’s often an unspoken expectation: persuasion. One person explains their beliefs, hoping the other will see the light and change theirs. But when it comes to deeply held political stances—ones shaped by years of lived experience, values, identity, and information sources—the reality is that these conversations rarely end in changed minds. And that’s okay.
You and I are not going to change each other’s political views, not because one of us isn’t capable of listening or thinking critically, but because political beliefs are deeply rooted. They tie into how we see the world, whom we trust, and what we prioritize. Changing a political stance isn’t like updating a phone app—it’s more like rethinking your place in the world. That doesn’t happen in the course of one conversation—or even many.
More importantly, trying to “win” an argument often turns a discussion into a battle, where the goal becomes victory rather than understanding. When that happens, empathy disappears, and walls go up. In that dynamic, neither of us is truly listening; we’re just waiting to respond. Instead of growing closer to the truth, we end up more entrenched.
Many people push the limits of their beliefs so forcefully that they end up imposing their point of view on others; sometimes they know what they are doing, and sometimes they don’t realize it. When it comes to sensitive topics like politics and religion, it’s important to pause and practice honest self-reflection. Taking a breath and stepping back can reveal more than we might expect, about ourselves. The truth is, we’re unlikely to change each other’s minds through confrontation, so we have to ask ourselves: is all the noise and conflict really worth it?
That doesn’t mean the conversation is worthless. While we may not change each other’s minds, we can learn what the other values, fears, and hopes for. We can gain insight into the human being behind the political label.
Even when we disagree—sometimes especially when we disagree—there’s room for respect. Disagreement should never silence us or take away our right to speak.
And it should never involve bullying, making fun of others, speaking with condescension, or the assumption that our opinion is the only one. Mocking others undermines respectful dialogue.
So no, we’re not going to change each other’s political or religious stance. But we can change the way we relate to one another. We can replace hostility with gentle curiosity, condescension with patience, and certainty with humility. And maybe, in time, that shift will do more good than winning any argument about politics or religion ever could.
Copyright ©2025. Suzann Peterson. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this text or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address the publisher.
