“Things are not asking to be judged by you,” Marcus Aurelius writes in his Meditations. “Remember, you always have the power to have no opinion. Most things in life are better off without your judgment hovering over them.“
by: Suzie Peterson
May 10, 2025
Our nature as humans – we are full of contradictions—we are, in many ways, so simple, yet deeply complex. At our core, we all crave similar things: connection, trust, belonging. These basic desires make us relatable and easy to understand on the surface. But how we communicate, protect, or hide those needs can be surprisingly complicated. This double-sided nature is one of the main reasons why first impressions often don’t capture who someone truly is.
We’re taught that first impressions matter, and that they do. They shape how we see others from the beginning and can influence how we treat them. However, experience has taught me something more important: that first impressions can be incomplete, and sometimes completely wrong.
Not everyone shows their true self right away. Some people are quiet, nervous, or cautious when meeting someone new. Others might act differently than they normally would because they’re unsure of how they’ll be received. I’ve found that the people who seem distant at first often turn out to be incredibly kind, thoughtful, and trustworthy once they feel safe enough to open up.
Getting to know someone takes time. Real trust and connection grow gradually, not instantly. When people feel comfortable, their real personalities come forward—their humor, their warmth, their depth. You start to see the parts of them that weren’t obvious at first, and often those are the qualities that matter most.
It’s generally a good idea to be slow to judge others because jumping to conclusions about someone’s character or motivations based on limited information or how they look can lead to misunderstandings, may cause harm, and may cause you to lose opportunities.
So yes, pay attention to your first impressions, but don’t let them be the final judgment. Give people room to be themselves. Some of the most unforgettable individuals are the ones who take time to unfold.
Copyright ©2025. Suzann Peterson. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this text or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address the publisher.
