(Flash fiction)<\/p>\n\n\n\n
by Suzie Peterson<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She sent me a text. \u201cOn the way home from our honeymoon. Let\u2019s get\ntogether soon.\u201d She didn\u2019t miss a beat, as if nothing had happened. A lot\nhad happened. But, that\u2019s been the cycle. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Why has she been so angry? I was never enough. Her hate deep. For\nyears she has publicly berated and humiliated me, hurtful insinuations on\nsocial media, and even kept my name off the newspaper announcement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I reached out, again. I found her name on a wedding registry and\nsent the most expensive gift, with love and congratulations. We met several\ntimes for lunch. A glimmer of hope. Six weeks before her wedding, when we met\nat the diner, my heart sank, again. \u201cNothing\u2019s going to change, the wedding programs\nhave been printed,\u201d her parting words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Dinner plans made. Looking forward. She cancelled. \u201cNot going\nthrough with the plans; you\u2019ll disappoint me!\u201d was her text. I was\ndisappointed, again. The story ends the same, every time. She builds me up to\nknock me down. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
She seems to want to make a connection, but then pulls away fast,\nwithout missing a beat. She manipulates the situation and places herself in the\nrole of disappointed victim. She works hard at making sure she has followers.\nSomehow she is able to always make me look like a horrible dad, in her eyes.\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n
No invitation arrived. I sent them chocolates, a bottle of\nchampagne and \u201cMr.\nand Mrs.\u201d champagne glasses the week before their\nwedding. On her wedding day I sobbed at home, grieving the loss of what should\nhave been. Still not understanding her level of anger and hatred. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
All of the other people she decided to call mom, dad, sister,\nbrother, and who she has designated as her \u201cparents-in-heart,\u201d or her \u201crock to\nlean on,\u201d have been safe places for labels of the family she had desperately\nwanted. A need to replace me in honor of\nher mom. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her mom and I had been going through a bump. Her mom had complained\nabout me to her, our friends, and family. She even had an affair. I didn\u2019t know\nwhat to do. I was happy being married. This was just a marriage speed bump, I\nthought. We\u2019d figure out the new jobs we needed, and our finances. But, her mom\nwasn\u2019t sure. I didn\u2019t know whether we were working out our problems or separating.\nFate decided. Her mom died that night that she and I were hit head-on by that\ndrunk driver. I lost the chance to right our marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nearly a nervous breakdown. I did my best for our daughter, and\nmyself. I spoke kindly about her mom. My daughter and I had a hard time.\nCounseling. Buying things. Vacations. Even after\nher mom died, it seemed to be them vs. me. Her mom had modeled how to be\ndisappointed and complain about me. I didn\u2019t have a chance. Berating me had\nbeen one of their strong connections. Now a strong lasting connection. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe wrong parent died!\u201d she yelled. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
For nearly twenty-five years, she has kept that connection alive.\nShe hasn\u2019t moved beyond her mom\u2019s \u2018unhappy wife\u2019 perception. She treats me the\nway she remembers her mom treating me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
There is only so much disrespect, berating and verbal abuse a dad\nshould be expected to take, from an adult daughter. I took the tough love\nroute. Stop the manipulations, lies, stories and drama, and make better decisions\nabout money and relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I didn\u2019t realize it at the time, but the only thing my tough love\ndid was give her more fuel to keep her loyalty to her mom alive, stronger than\never. She pushed me further away. To give me respect would be going against her\nloyalty to her mom\u2019s perspective. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Leaving me out of her wedding was the most heart-wrenching thing\nshe could have done. Lost chances, lost hope, shattered heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I finally understand. Had she invited me to the wedding, then her\nlife of high drama, manipulations, and made-up stories about me would have\nfallen apart, both in public and in her heart. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The unveiling, in front of her world, would have meant that many\nyears of placing herself in the role of victim, and all of her imagined and\nself-created disappointments, were for naught. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
By not having me attend the wedding, her lies and stories were able to continue; she comfortably remained the victim. Her mom and their strong connection were with her at the wedding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll probably never have my daughter back. I now understand that\nby me taking these hits from her, she got to keep her mom alive in her heart –\nin the only way she knows how. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Copyright \u00a9 2018 Suzann Peterson. All rights reserved. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Flash fiction) by Suzie Peterson She sent me a text. \u201cOn the way home from our honeymoon. Let\u2019s get together soon.\u201d She didn\u2019t miss a beat, as if nothing had happened. A lot had happened. But, that\u2019s been the cycle. Why has she been so angry? I was never enough. Her hate deep. For years […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,6],"tags":[23,20,22,19],"class_list":["post-270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-flash-writing","category-relationships-family-friends","tag-estrangement","tag-loss","tag-misdirected-grudges","tag-understanding-grieving"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=270"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":361,"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270\/revisions\/361"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/perspectives2ponder.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}